This week I’ve been doing something a little different. 

I’ve had the interesting experience of being on the other side of the communications and engagement equation and have been enjoying a foray into another style of writing—long form magazine journalism. It’s really lit me up. The novelty factor I have to say, is pretty high after all these years of strategic communication and writing more media releases than I can count. 

The reader is at the heart of what I’m doing. The readership looks like me which makes it one step easier. People 50+, well educated, and live in Hawke’s Bay, or have very specific Hawke’s Bay interests. My role, much like it is in my communications, engagement and facilitation work is to take meaty, complex and difficult to understand topics and make them easy to understand.  

Admittedly, I haven’t sat down to do the actual writing yet. I’ve completed 5 of the 6 interviews I had set myself to do. It’s remarkable the time it takes to set these up (note to self for next time… notice that – next time). The twists and turns of the conversations with people who are at the top of their game is interesting in itself. 

It’s been a lesson in human behaviour. Again. 

By far most people I’ve talked to have been so wonderful and helpful. Of these interviews most have been face to face, I’ve given choices on the location, and most have chosen the café that adjoins to my shared office space. We sit in conservatory styled area where it’s a bit quieter than the main café. Of course, I have my handy AI recording the conversation to review the transcript, so I need a semblance of quiet. One of the interviews someone’s random dog joined us for the entire interview, parked at my feet. Cleo (said dog) and I are now lifetime friends. 

I arrive at the café, phone, laptop and glasses a few minutes early (although once a little to “on the dot” for my liking). Getting ready to meet someone I’ve usually never talked to feels a little like getting ready for a blind date. I’m usually a little bit nervous/excited as I’m wondering how it will go. Will I ask the right questions, will I guide the interview to where it needs to go, will the person answer my questions. This reminds me so much of facilitation, but I’m only facilitating the conversation.

I usually let the person know how I look so they can find me… sometimes it’s something bright I’m wearing (pink shirt was perfect for this), sometimes it’s just look for the short woman, with short hair and a laptop. At least I haven’t said look for the red carnation on the table. That would be weird. But I am that weird person whose neck cranes forward with each person coming through the café door. Does that look like their so-and-so from their LinkedIn profile? I squint, I look a couple of beats too long. Nope, that’s not the person. Now that person thinks I’m checking them out. Duck for cover and avoid further eye contact. Awkward times however many people walk through the door before my interview subject!

Thank God for coffee, right? Enthusiastic and sometimes a little awkward intro, we order coffee and get settled in for some solid curiosity questions. By the time the coffee arrives my nerves have disappeared and my new friend is likely to hear my big laugh erupt at any moment. I do try and contain it for at least 15 minutes. I’m amazed at how few people order long blacks with a side of cream. It’s my indulgence when I’m at a café, and when I take that first sip the world stands still for just that micro second, and all is well with the world. 

One of the things I’ve loved about my day job over the years is the incredibly interesting and intelligent people I’ve worked with.  I spend a lot of my working life with people who know an extraordinary amount about things I don’t. Engineers, planners and subject matter experts can disappear several layers deep into a topic before I've processed the first part. I quite like that.

My brain immediately starts trying to make sense of it. I’ll keep asking questions until I understand the bones of what they’re telling me, and can explain it back in a way that makes sense to someone who hasn’t spent the last 20 years immersed in it.

My test has always been whether I could explain it to Mum. Science used to be outsourced to my eldest daughter, but she’s now in her second year of biomedical science, so that strategy has rather backfired. She explains the science to me now. If you need a science fact of the day, let me know, I’ve got you.

As someone who is used to being ‘the handler’ of subject matter experts, it feels odd to ‘be handled’. I’ve had helpful PRs, I’ve had what felt like a gatekeeper but was in fact disorganisation from the organisation (my new ‘journo’ brain felt like I was being shut out, so there must be a story there… no… merely someone overworked with an email inbox presumably looking like a bomb had gone off in it).

Now onto my interviewees. Bless each and every one of them for giving up their time for random questions from me! I’ve had a blast applying what I know about creating connection and trust quickly with interviewees, creating the environment where we can have free and frank conversations. The in-depth knowledge never ceases to amaze me. 

There have been a few tangents when I’ve pulled a thread to see where it will go, and circled back to the first or another thread. These are the most fascinating conversations. There have been a few rabbit holes I’ve gone down and realised, limited time, this won’t help the subject. 

The intent of someone comes across remarkably quickly, whether that’s written or spoken, or just those first moments before any words are spoken and body language is all you have to go on. As humans we’re making judgements about each other at a cracking pace when we first meet. The same happens in engagements. If we’re lucky enough occasionally, we can run a meeting as a drop-in session, which allows the 1:1 conversations and for connections and trust to be build more easily. 

Building that same level of connection and trust, from the front of the room is a much harder ask. It’s something I’ve been contemplating as occasionally it’s a style of engagement that communities ask for. Fairness comes through in the ask – they want everyone to hear the same thing at the same time. In drop-ins if they’re not adequately staffed, or most people need to talk to the same person because they’re the knowledge holder, it can backfire. The knowledge holder may also have limited 1:1 skills, which again puts pressure on that finite 1:1 time to do the invisible work that gets projects across the line. Someone is trying to get an answer to their question, while simultaneously deciding how much confidence they have in the person and project giving it.

It’s left me thinking about how much of this work happens in moments that are almost impossible to capture in an engagement plan.

The conversation before the conversation. Whether someone feels comfortable enough to ask the question they really want answered. Whether the person standing opposite them seems genuinely interested in hearing it. The little interactions that either make the next conversation easier, or just making it harder.

How does this play out in your work? What’s making the biggest difference to the relationships you have with stakeholders at the moment? And, because sometimes the failures teach us far more, what have you learned when something went to hell-in-a-handbag?

Hit reply and tell me the story if you would like to get it off your chest. It's really valuable to share the learnings.